How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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