So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
