idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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