Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
