I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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