ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize