And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
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I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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