just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
