i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
where am i from again
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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