My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
