I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
