my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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