his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
