so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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