I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
