She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
