id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
