Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
