I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
