So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
