I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
