we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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