I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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