Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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