need another drink. this is the easiest way
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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