Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
