apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
third nipple confirmed
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
