she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
