do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
