I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
