Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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