hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
