I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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