he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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