i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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