I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
