Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize