We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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