Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
