So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
