apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
