so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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