the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
