You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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