you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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