Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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