honey bunches of taint.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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