Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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