I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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