pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
