if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
