I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize