Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
