i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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