Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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