There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
