pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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