Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
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