how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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