I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
