You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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