i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
