you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wish my penis had a tongue
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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