1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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