He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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