Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
