All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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