so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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