We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
