I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
