whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
