Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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