You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize